Donnerstag, 11. April 2013

the higher your position the stronger wind blows

it's true. if you're at the top of something/some organizations, the "wind" blows stronger. there are many frictions, issues, gossips, etc coming towards you. people are either respecting you or loathing you; or taking advantages on you. they're looking for you because they need something from you.

and it's a fucking sugar honey ice tea. it happens to me ALL THE TIME. when I was in elementary, I was in a small club. the club was only consisted of a few people who were chosen by the teachers. the others who were not chosen, of course, got jealous. but I thought that it's because we're still children. children get jealous easily. so..... let it be~

then I stepped in junior high. I entered the school with no friends at all; it's because I was the only one who went to that school from my elementary, so..... yea, no one. entering that school, I had no idea of student council. idek what student council was, until the teachers pointed me as the only 7th grade student who was assigned as the core team. it lasted for a year. the next year, I applied as the head. there was an election, and I didn't really hope much. I was ended up as a deputy head. it's fine. less responsible as it's on the 9th grade, which I had to concentrate more on my academic stuffs. though only a deputy, my teachers and the trainers of student council were happy and proud of me. I'm proud too. hehehehehe.

the wind was so strong for a junior-high student. people loathed me for my position. especially because I was a minor on the school. those who loathed me were those who had "position" on other extracurricular, and from the Student Council itself. Student Council has several divisions; one of the head of the division really loathed me so much. idk why, idc. lol. at that time, I only had two friends who I really trusted. and my 9th grade was really the darkest part of my life. I hope it's the only one moment of my darkest life.

senior high..... to be a part of the student council, I had to apply just like applying for work. it's not so me. applying myself means I carry a bigger responsible because I joined the council without any force. some of my friends asked why I didn't apply, I answered that I had had enough 'playing' during my junior high. sounds cocky, but that's the fact. until I graduated, I was only an 'ordinary' student. hahaha. I didn't really enjoyed it much. maybe it's because I was really 'busy' during junior high. but, yea, doesn't matter~

UNIVERSITY. sounds scary. the good thing is I have another chance to join the student council. it's divided into two big organization: BEM and MPM (as I've shared with you on the previous posts). I joined the MPM because basically BEM is same just like the Student Council I joined on junior high. I looked for new challenge. hahaha. to join it, I had to apply. this time, I had no problem with it, because 3-year hiatus drove me crazy. hahaha. I applied, did the interview, and thank God I got accepted. I applied as a member for Sport Division, but they put me in Art Division. I was like..... okay. totally not a problem for me, but maybe a problem for them because I don't really know art. I'm not really into it. until I was assigned as head of publication for the Election Week 2012. my responsibilities were publish announcements and design posters. but that's it. designing posters are not a big deal.

I admit that I really need to control my anger. there's a time when I got really angry with one of the committee. he's like..... left his responsibility just like that. he's really not capable. I didn't say I'm capable, but at least never leave your duties. moreover, he assigned himself as the committee. no one forced or pursued him to be the committee. that's ridiculous. I cleared my head and thought objectively. whatever happens in MPM, let it stays at MPM. I'm really trying to be professional. including towards the BEM; because actually MPM is "higher" than BEM but we don't show our superiority. we don't want to show any exclusivity. that's something ridiculous to show, isn't it?

before assigned as advisor 1, I was advisor 2. the voting for the advisor 2 was  an unexpected thing for me. I never expect being an advisor. but result was result. I took the responsibility. but, as I always say, the higher your position the stronger wind blows. yep. that's really a fucked up moment. slowly, but sure, I realize how the voting for advisor 2 ran. since then, I have decided to turn down the offer of being the head of MPM. it's enough. I was literally tired of those bullshit. that's not how you do it. that's nasty.

until the day of electing the new head of MPM, I stick to my decision. so I ended up as advisor 1. hohoho. doesn't mean that the wind stops blowing. it even harder and stronger. recently, the strong wind comes from around me; those who are close to me. but, important to remember, idgaf. hahahaha!

I don't tell or share this kind of thing to any other human. I keep it myself. now, I'm telling you; virtually. I just wanna share some of my experiences. I hope you're not surprised of how cruel the world is; how cruel your "friends".

my proud and cocky blabbering, sorry not sorry, I just wanna show you that you will always face any kind of problems in your life. including those strong winds which always want you down. it's normal. try to control your emotion or anger. don't cry. that's life. it has ups and downs. let them try to pull you down. but never move a bit. it drives them insane. have a good morning/day/night!

you are stronger than you think
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." -Bob Marley



  1. Mereka yang bernaung di Leo selalu banyak cobaan.

    Namun mereka selalu mampu melewatinya dengan cara yang dasyat :D

    1. selama masih ada masalah, bearti masih hidup.
      amiiiinnnnn. smoga masalah2 berikutnya juga bisa dilewati dengan cara yang dahsyat :D