Montag, 21. Juli 2014

voiceless scream

HI GUYS!! it's getting nearer to my departure back to Indonesia~ noooooo, I don't wanna leave this country................. everything is breathtakingly beautiful here..... everything is perfect!! :'D

I do, people, still wanna go back to Indonesia. there's nothing better than being at your on home. but I wanna stay here. hehehehe :p pretty sure I'll come back here and stay for several years..... we'll see :D

I don't know what happened to me for the whole last week. yes, Germany won the world cup, then the captain retired. hahh~ *sigh* thank you, captain, for everything you've done for Germany NT :D

not gonna talk too much on this post. I don't know what's wrong with me. I felt so..... I don't know..... not committed? even to myself. hahaha. maybe I should be closer to Him, so that I could be more..... I don't know? hahaha. everything is empty at the moment. I should take a rest earlier, perhaps.

oh, my flatmate went back to Indonesia last Saturday. hope he had a good flight :D and yea, I'm alone for now. he said that his friend's gonna stay at his room. but I don't know. or maybe I don't care. hahaha. it's his anyway~

next weekend..... I have a plan to go somewhere. somewhere..... crazy? hahahaha. nah, it's not crazy. I'm going to Rust. google it, and find where I'm going to :p

something hurts me so much. couldn't really tell what it is. but it hurts. seeing you flee from my life hurts. I actually don't know why it hurts. hahaha. I wonder if you still there. btw, you may look for a second that I don't think of you. but I'm telling you it's useless as you won't find one. wish you knew how hard it is to believe in something that I actually doubt it. but there's a saying: "faith isn't faith until there's nothing left to hold on to". even if in the end I'm not ended up with you, I really hope that every smile, laugh, happiness, tear, sad, sorrow, broken heart, everything is worth. I have God behind my scenes. *sigh* I should really be closer to God :)

I think that's it for now. I'm sorry for the very "concise" entry. hahahaha. you can enjoy the previous post tho. because that's how I'm living my life right now :D and I couldn't promise a on-time entry for next week. we'll see~ hehehe. thank you to all of you who keeps reading this blog, though it's a boring one(?) :*
I'm not getting darker, am I?
“I am strong, but I am tired, Stephen, tired of always having to be the strong one, of always having to do the right thing.” -Brenda Joyce (An Impossible Attraction, 2010)

-calzsf

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